Grief Life Nature

Eternal Roses: A Token of God’s Love

We will never regret a day or an hour spent purposefully enjoying nature. The vastness and the beauty soothes my soul. Like flowers from a loved one that never die, it continually reminds me that I am loved.

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I am most affected when I am most present but not analyzing, when I look around and I am conscious of the beauty without trying to figure out why it is so beautiful. I can stare at the intricacies of the sand or the pattern of a pinecone and not be nearly as affected as I am looking over at great expanse and just being amazed.

Maybe not analyzing is so refreshing because it goes against most of who I am. I love to analyze, think, and process; the overwhelming beauty of nature let’s that part of my brain rest while I simply BE loved. When surrounded by nature, what I have done or experienced fades away and God’s grandeur and a sense of being loved come in to focus.

I am still in my season of rest (and cannot wait to share more about it). One thing I’ve been doing very purposefully is to focus on building a sustainable and joyful new life. I know I could live a great life constantly on vacation and traveling, but the goal of this break is to learn to live a new life that is sustainable. One where I live in a house, with a community and a church, and I work and eat and live in a way that pays the bills and keeps us healthy.

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So I have not really been on vacation or traveled since this break started. I’ve had weeks of major grief, weeks of major rest, and weeks of major healing. It has been profitable not so much in what I’ve been able to accomplish but because a great portion of my brain is feelings like it is operating at full power for the first time since my husband was killed.

This afternoon at the lake is just more practice in living a sustainable life. I have had three incredibly busy days. I am not here because I had the day off. I am here because I’m learning to prioritize things that remind me of the blessing of life, things that give me energy, and things that heal the heart. Somethings I try are not a great successes. We still paint with watercolors all the time, but it does nothing for me. On the other hand, remembering to pack a bathing suit so we can go play at the lake at 5:00 regardless of the extra work I will have when we get home, is everything.

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