Getting Ready to Learn to Live Again

I have a huge life change coming on Friday. It’s time to learn to live again.

I’ve been treading water for awhile, just trying to survive, but I feel like it is time to learn to live again. Over the last week, we have had several moments of enjoying life at the end of the day when we decided to take our dinner outside.

Gardening has also also provided many glimpses of life, though my fear that I might have a total break down if something bad happens to any of them has revealed that I still have some healing to do. Zoya and I both talk to the plants a lot. I don’t know why. Just one day she caught me telling them how pretty they were and once she noticed, I noticed. They are our babies.

It’s sandbox time right now. She’s making chocolate sand pies.

Small glimpses that life can be good again.

The week before had no such glimpses. It was one trauma trigger after another including Hamilton. It was still the best show I’ve seen ever, hands down. So many chills. But location, time and ending served to bring me to such a bad place I had to push through some of the dammed up grief It’s been a vicious cycle of grief and distraction, grief and distraction. Not the type of distraction where you see good and release pain, but the all consuming kind of distraction where you block your mind and heart from reality.

I’d like to turn this post into five posts and maybe I will eventually.

By Monday, if not before, I’ll start to share details but for now, I’m just going to enjoy the moments of peace in the exhaustion of the storm.