I have only survived the loss of my husband because of the support of so many friends, family, and just other caring human beings.
More than anything I have been sustained by the prayers of others. Before my husband died, I had never been able to say that “I have felt others praying.” But in the past year, I very definitely have. There have been many dark days where I honestly was not sure I would be able to keep moving forward, and then after sending out a request for prayer I soon felt strengthened, lifted, and full of hope. Other times, I’ve had the most blessed dreams, only to receive a text the next day that during those exact moments, someone was awake praying for me.
Others have also given time; time to sit an eat with me, time to watch our daughter so I could use all my own brain cells, and time to mow our lawn and build a playhouse for Zoya. Every minute others have give has been a blessing and I’ve treasured it even when I didn’t have strength to say thanks.
Others have give financially, in a way that has been an amazing blessing. This is a page a friend set up for Zoya on GoFundMe.
Every gift feels like a gift from Shah. We feel loved. We feel the love of others in their prayers, gifts and time, and we feel Shah’s love at the same time. Shah taught us how to love and feel loved.
This page isn’t so much a request for support, but a thank you for all the support we have been given. Though also, we will continue to need your support.
It is hard sometimes to accept that we cannot do life on our own anymore. I cannot build that playhouse for Zoya without help. I cannot take a nap without help. With Shah, it felt like we were a self-sufficient family. Without Shah, I know my need for God and others so much more. It is both a loss and a gift.
Now, I say this last bit on behalf of myself and all those who have experienced loss. We are deeply grateful, and please don’t hold it against us if we do not properly show it. It’s hard to say thank you all the time when your heart is broken about something for which you will never be thankful. The dichotomy of gratefulness and loss can be too much and sometimes leaves us without words. We appreciate it more than words can say, and so please, along with everything you have given, please extend us the grace to just accept it without sometimes expressing how much we appreciate all you have done.