Grief

Acceptance and Actively Fighting Post Vacation Blahs

Post vacation blahs can be even more exadurated for people whose home lives are less than ideal. A little bit of me was disappointment he wasn’t home when we got back. No matter that he died fifteen months ago. It would have been really nice to have him back.

We are pushing through on the adventure of life. I’m excited to be back in our bed with my fleece blanket, and I got to wash my hair in my favorite mint lavender shampoo.

I got two of my three suitcases completely unpacked and put away. I could finally open all of the beautiful handmade bowls my MIL brought me from Iran.

My sister picked us up and surprised us with a detailed car. I’ve been letting my toddler eat in the car so this is a drastic improvement. She also helped me get inside and put away the Amazon Fresh grocery delivery that had just arrived at my house.

I worked from the time I got home until now, but I did remember to take a break for tea and chocolate. I really want to continue the habit of tea breaks. I loved tea breaks when I lived in the Netherlands, I loved tea breaks with Shah, and I loved tea breaks with his family the last two weeks.

Once Zoya fell asleep I packed her lunch and a bag for her first day of “school” tomorrow.

I’m hoping by this time tomorrow to have so many things accomplished, but I’ll settle for another day lived fully.

So many things to do. First day of “school.”  My outdoor yoga mat arrives. I have tea to drink. A suitcase to unpack. Iranian food to try to cook. And so, so much catching up to do at work.

I miss my love. He is not here. I will accept that and live anyway. Refusing to live without him won’t change the fact that he is gone.

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About Camila

From the mountains of North Carolina. New widow of a man from Iran. Mother of one precious girl. Anti-human trafficking expert. Pro-life leader. Sister to 16 siblings. Daughter of God.

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