When I focus on their being eight more days until the one year anniversary of his death, I want to go back to bed and stay there.
When I focus on there having been almost a full year of continuing to live, I feel stronger. I am not upset with how I’ve lived this last year. I’ve been so blessed by God through so many people, I’ve had an amazing year with Zoya and Ariel, and I’ve learned so much about God and hope and seeing the world and time from God’s perspective, even if what’s I’ve learned is how much I don’t understand.
When I think about being one year closer to being with Shah again, I rejoice. Of course, it’s a rejoicing filled with so much longing. When we plan a trip, being a week closer to Disney is exciting, but it doesn’t mean we are there.
But still, it’s so important that I don’t focus on what ended on June 1, but on what continued and on what began.
The world is not as bright, but we move towards the light.
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