The Hard Days Are Here

The problem I have with almost all of the books by widows is that they are much further along in life and either stay at home or retired wives. 

Obviously they are writers, since they have written the book, but they don’t tend to be executive directors with toddlers, who have to get out of bed every day. 

They talk about laying in bed for days having no purpose. They don’t talk about needing to lay in bed for a single day, but being unable. 

I love my toddler and I love my job. It’s not that I would trade places with these women, it’s just that they don’t relate. 

No one relates, because each situation is so different. Blah blah blah. Why do people think pointing out this uniqueness will be a comfort?

The pain is more acute than the day he died, but the people are gone. The tears flow more freely, but the work must go on. 

Two years ago we were on our baby moon. Last year we were getting ready for San Francisco. 

This year is muddy and gray. 

About Camila

Based in Atlanta, but from the mountains of North Carolina. New widow of a man from Iran. Mother of one precious girl. Anti-human trafficking expert. Sister to 16 siblings (Yes, some of are adopted). Daughter of God.

4 comments on “The Hard Days Are Here

  1. stellise kirk

    Oh my, this is heart-wrenching. Although I can’t understand fully, I sure do sympathize with you and understand what a difficult thing it is to deal with disappointment, loss, and pain – and not having many around you who at least try to understand and offer support to you. The books you speak of – well, they mean well, I guess.


    • I do appreciate these books. They have been so encouraging and I devour them. It’s just different. Though I personally and sadly know more in my situation.


  2. rogerholmack

    Oh sweet heart. I don’t fully understand your grief either but I understand my grief. I think when the authors are saying all grieve different they are referring to the fact that even when others have like situations, it’s different. You need to find a book or other bloggers with like situations. Have you tried Facebook groups or other things? Hugs.


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