It’s not been an easy week. There have been good moments, but overall it just keeps getting harder and harder. The loss of half is hard to handle. Each day you notice something new that was lost.
One of the big losses this week is the ability to parent with him. We were struggling through and figuring this out together, and we were figuring her out together, and now it’s just me with what sometimes feels like 1000 other voices, so loud I can’t even hear my own thoughts, much less hear him… or Him.
The pain is brutal and my functioning level feels low.
But I write, not to complain about what is, but to remind myself about what is.
Shah is with God. God is with me. There is a tie that connects us still. And hope in the darkness is my anchor.