Last week had so many hard days. This weekend was so good. It was a three day weekend, Labor Day Weekend. There was a day that I think I didn’t cry at all. I had peace. I knew Shah truly is in a better place and I felt that strongly. He is with God, God is with us.
I was at my sister’s house with Zoya. I was a sister, an aunt, a sister-in-law, and a mother. I knew who I was and how I fit. Life seemed to fit for three full days.
I have to believe days like this are a gift from God, and that others are holding me up and sharing my burden with their prayers. God was answering prayers this weekend.
I just was. Be still…
I went for a walk with my sister and everything just felt normal. It wasn’t that I’d forgotten that my love had been killed. It just was. My therapist says that has something to do with being in the moment, like I felt that first night at the beach.
Normal doesn’t last. On the way home, I was gasping for air as I sobbed. But that doesn’t at all discount the blessing of this weekend. It’s all part of this process. Great blessings. Deep pain.