My Life – Another Blog that is Helping Me

In a grief group, a gal asked if this life without our child seems to have become normal. Here is my answer: Yes. This is my life. I’ve changed so much since The Accident!  I have become…

Source: My Life 

I needed to read this blog today, because I lost it this morning while listening to a book on grief where a man who lost his wife and daughter in an accident started talking about enjoying “life” in the moment, without explaining how he got to that place.  I’m still not in that place all of the time.  Sometimes my brain is there WHEN I AM SURE SHAH’S LIFE IS NOW EVEN BETTER, but much of the time my brain doesn’t want to hear about life on earth being great when Shah doesn’t get to experience any more life.

The trauma brain cannot hold all truths at the same time.  Some moments I can only see the joy.  Some moments I can only see the pain.  Some moments I can only see that his life was taken violently.  Some moments I can only see that he was given 34 wonderful years and is life now is even better than those years.  Both are true, but my brain is incapable of putting them together, so we sit in the tension and breathe.