Bible Grief

Prayers Coveted

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This is more of a cry for prayers than a meaningful post. I’m supposed to return to work tomorrow. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I feel like it’s the first day all over again.
It’s that cold sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
This just makes it all so real.
The last weeks have been so healing as I’ve had time with God, time to rest, time with family and time with friends. My sister has actually agreed to live with me for awhile, which has allowed me to focus on healing while she makes sure the baby eats and the doors get locked.
But tonight, his death is one step closer to being real. The reality only sinks in slowly. Tomorrow I move on with the rest of my life, the mundane ordinary part of life.
I CANNOT THINK ABOUT IT THAT WAY. Tomorrow, is only tomorrow. I only have to do tonight. And tomorrow I’ll do tomorrow. And the future, that seems to stretch on like an endless desert before me, is not promised and is not known.
I’ve been blessed with several days of feeling his closeness and his love.
Tomorrow I have to put one foot in front of the other, without him, but not on my own.
It’s just part of a day. It’s just 6 hours. I can breathe.
I love him.
God be my strength.

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5 comments on “Prayers Coveted

  1. Heather C

    I will be praying for you.

    Like

  2. Jennifer Ellis

    I am praying for you. Praying for the Lord to help you keep your eyes on the unseen things as you step back in to a job that can very easily snatch your gaze to the seen things. I’m praying for the Lord to give you a clear sense of His Providence and peace in knowing that He is ordering every step you take. I’m praying you can rest in Him as you step back into a very stressful environment. I am also praying for Him to provide a different way of life for you if it be His will. And, I continue to pray for His comfort, your healing, your grieving process and this sin-soaked world we live in.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Rancy Lee

    Praying for you, Camila. May God give you comfort and strength moment by moment, always.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

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