I haven’t said this since 1999 when I was living in the Netherlands, but I believe these may be the best days of my life. Now I do expect better days still to come, but as of this point, nothing has ever been better. Now I’ve had better days and better weeks and better months since 1999. But as far as a stage and period of my life goes, this is the best. I came to this realization today when my husband peeked in on me from the bathroom window and said “Khodahafez” on his way to work. Yes, a completely random time. I’m often exhausted and often bored. I often waste time watching TV and fret about that wasted time. But I have a beautiful baby and a loving husband and definitely these are my best days.
This train of thought makes me wonder what was so wonderful about that time in Netherlands that it was the last time I really consciously thought about it being the best time of my life. Of course, it had something to do with living with several boys that I adored, but it was a lot more than that. There was something carefree about those days that even at 21 I hadn’t experienced in a long time. There is something not carefree about American life . . . especially the driven way I lived it. Europeans tend to be better about living life fully. The Dutch don’t do it in the extravagant or wild way the Italians or Spanish might, but they do it in their own way. And they don’t do it in the driven way an American might, where we actually think we can strive to relax, or we can focus on letting go. There was something easy about every day. There was a lot of time outdoors biking, reading, drinking and kicking a ball around. If a day there was as beautiful as today is, no one would be outside. The parks would be filled. I was in school then, but they don’t strive for the best grades, they just do their work. Most of my days consisted of spending time with the people I was living with, figuring out what I was going to eat next, and spending time alone, usually outside.
I guess that is pretty much what I am doing now. My life is centered around the hours I have with the two I am living with and figuring out the next meal. I’ve had some outdoor time, and after this, I hope to start spending a lot more time outdoors. I spent a lot of time the first weeks stressing about getting things accomplished so I wasn’t wasting time and was making everyone happy, and while yes, i want to please my husband, I’m not sure this striving to make him like me by trying to clean is the best way to go about that.
The last two days in my prayer time (something I am trying to do), I’ve asked the Lord what I should accomplish for the day and heard him respond that I should love my husband and child. And while in some ways that could be a tall order, since God gives me that love, it really is a ‘light burden.’