Grief Nature Travel widow

Traveling in Canada

So I’m seriously loving the-middle-of-nowhere Canada. ​​

Technically, we are in Orford, somewhere between Montreal and Quebec City. It’s stunning. The weather is amazing. The produce is stunning. 

Today was the best because we didn’t make plans. I came believe I’m saying that. My husband and I got in so many fights about resting or going while on vacation and I was always the one fighting to go-go-go. 

Because we didn’t plan, we just got to be. It’s amazingly beautiful here right now. Every walk and every drive is inspirational. Seriously. I’m constantly thinking about how I want to live the rest of my life, what my priorities should be, and dreaming about the future; and nothing I am thinking about really involves things or money.

Some of it is just things we used to do when Shah was living, like tea and fruit and random gelato dates. Seriously, what type of life would I be living if I made or had time to sit and drink tea 5 times a day?  What if I always had dried fruit and nuts sitting around, and sometimes enjoyed a tiny sweet with my tea?

Other thoughts are bigger. How could I spend a year with Zoya in another country with another language? Should I get a deck so I can do outdoor yoga? Can we make good produce at farmer’s markets a priority? Should we make it to a river or play ground regularly?

Can we figure out a way to live cheap so we can travel extravagantly?  I don’t mean expensive hotels. I mean well and often. Can we live beneath our means so we can travel more? 

I know some people find inspiration through art, others reading, others gardening. For me, there is nothing like travel. My husband and I made it a priority, and now as a widow and single parent there is nothing that makes me love life again, quite like travel. When I travel I get excited about the future I have on earth, not just dying and being reunited to my husband. I have great times with Zoya all the time, but nothing is better than our trips together. 

Most likely, I’ll return to barely breathing stress next week. But I’ll be brighter because I’ll remember beautiful Canada and know Zoya and I will have more travel in our future. 

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