Father’s Day – It’s Complicated

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She had such a wonderful father, but only got to enjoy him for one year. So far the seconds aren’t a whole lot easier than the firsts. 

We did get to make and eat daddy’s food, Iranian chicken and jeweled rice, with a friend and her precious daughter. 

He would love both that I made this food and that we got to spend time with this friend. She is a special friend that Shah always asked about and wanted us to hang out with. 

Zoya and I dressed alike again today. There is something for me about dressing the same that is so much more than just looking cute. For me it’s a sign of solidarity and not being alone. Shah’s girls are in this together. We survived another Father’s Day without being able to hug his neck. 

He was the best father. He loved his baby girl so much he put his career on hold so that he could hold her for every nap. He trimmed her nails, changed her diaper and cleaned her boogers. He made sure she never fell and got hurt. He lived and breathed her. He finally got his way and got what said he always wanted. His precious baby girl finally got big enough to sleep in bed with us at night. We only shared a bed for four months, but it still feels like that was the right and normal and this is the broken. He is still missing.