April 25th was a pretty good day. Last year it was amazing. We finally went to spend the day fishing, which had been his goal for a long time. It was kinda the first of a month of things that now feel like his farewell tour. We did so many things, I’m so grateful we did, because if we hadn’t it would add to the weight of his loss. 
And today, despite the fact that Zoya has kinda decided not to sleep or nap the past few days. and I’m not sleeping well either, God has started to challenge me in a way that is giving me hope and strength.
The book on reading is hard. I’d never recommend it to someone in the first months of widowhood. I’ve started and stopped it too many times to count. But today, in small doses, it was full of good challenging truth.
A friend took Zoya this evening I had an amazing time alone, with Shah and my favorite thing ever besides Zoya… sushi!!
God Provides for Us 
That’s a nice way to honor your husband by eating his favorite meal. I do that for Amanda. I have McDonald’s chicken nuggets, fries and sweet tea in her honor. Be gentle, kind, loving and forgiving to yourself.
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You are right. I know that is what he would want
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