Grief

My Favorite Place to Do It All

This is my favorite place to do it all. It’s my favorite place to work, rest, read, mourn. Not the bed, but the chair I’m sitting in, with its cozy blankets and soft pillow. 

And my favorite time of day is in the morning when that adorable head and those pink pajamas are still peaceful sleeping. 

It is soft in here. No rough edges. 

I have coffee and water and more water if I need it. I have his favorite plant in the window that I’ve managed to keep alive. There is a widow beside and a window in front. 

When I have trouble sleeping, it means I get more time in the chair. It almost makes up for those mornings you can’t go back to sleep. Actually I would rather skip sleep than wake up and miss this time in my day. It’s where I set my priorities and goals. It’s where the day doesn’t just happen to me. 

This place was a gift from several people. This chair, this pillow, this blanket. All I hear is the birds and her breathing. 

I’d give anything to hear him snore as well, to enjoy this moment without tears. But at least I have a love to mourn. 

It’s a broken, broken world. There are glimpses of what it was supposed to be, but the do not hide the brokenness. Come quickly Lord, come quickly. Restore and resurrect. Bring newness and life. 

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About Camila

From the mountains of North Carolina. New widow of a man from Iran. Mother of one precious girl. Anti-human trafficking expert. Pro-life leader. Sister to 16 siblings. Daughter of God.

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