Grief

Adult Time

All work and no play makes..s


I don’t know the rest of that quote but play is important. Fun is important. And I must confess something everyone else knows, I’m not a superhuman who only needs fun interactions with a toddler. I’m not even sure that would make me a superhuman. It might actually mean I was a subhuman if playing with a toddler was all I needed. 

I don’t want to accept how much I lost when Shah died and so I pretend to myself like a good day with Zoya is all I need. 

But it’s just not true. I need adult fun as well. Sure, I need toddler fun. Days with Zoya are precious like no other, but God created men and women, parents and non-parents, to need a variety of relationships. And last night I was blessed with some adult fun. 

I’ve had several people help me by watching Zoya while I worked or rested, had alone time or went to worship and prayer time. But last night someone watched her while I did something no more important sounding than go to dinner with old friends. It was amazing. 

No matter how perfect your child is, you always have to have at least part of your attention directed towards them. But last night I just had to BE; without any worries about anyone choking, throwing anything, stabbing themselves, or screaming. It was incredible. It was fun. 

Shah and I took Zoya with us on Valentine’s Day and I’m so glad that was our tradition.  But we knew we also needed time without her.  It’s either prideful or ignorant on my part to not realize I need that same adult time, not just alone time, but fun friend time as well. 

I know in my head I’m a single parent now, but I haven’t processed what that means. 

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About Camila

From the mountains of North Carolina. New widow of a man from Iran. Mother of one precious girl. Anti-human trafficking expert. Pro-life leader. Sister to 16 siblings. Daughter of God.

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