I like to buy a few Christmas decorations each year after Christmas. They are insanely cheap and I like the idea of having our house a little more festive each year, rather than going out the first Christmas and buying everything.
But this year it felt so different. Last year I bought things and packed them away for our Christmas this year. He never got to enjoy them. A few of them were destroyed when the basement flooded and the tablecloth that survived was enjoyed by his friends, but not him.
This year the excitement over buying things I thought would add to his cheer was completely gone. But still I bought, feeling as mechanical as a robot, but still willing myself to have faith that life would continue and new life would come.