Grief

If I Could Still Text Him

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I want him just to be at work so I can text him and tell him about her day. She almost slept the whole way home from Franklin and happily just sat and looked out the window when she was awake. I think she just loves music as much as he does.
And I’ve learned how I keep her happy when I run for longer. I put water in her tray for her to play with while I run.
And she helped me put the clothes in the dryer and then helped me load the washer. She was having a lot of fun helping mommy do chores. It’s a new stage for us.
I want to tell him these things. It felt like such a normal afternoon and normal still means he’s alive. My mind hasn’t adjusted to a normal where he is gone.
I didn’t even bother to take a photo of the adorable face she was making when I put the little purple hat on her head, because I couldn’t send it to him. I wanted to, but then I remembered. He doesn’t get his texts anymore. It doesn’t seem real.

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About Camila

Based in Atlanta, but from the mountains of North Carolina. New widow of a man from Iran. Mother of one precious girl. Anti-human trafficking expert. Sister to 16 siblings (Yes, some of are adopted). Daughter of God.

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