Today has been a hard day. I miss him so much. It’s not all times of remembering happy memories. There are times of sobbing because evil has won a battle and has taken away my love and Zoya’s daddy.
I understand more and more how God not only can, but must mourn with us.
I used to not understand why He mourns if He is rejoicing with Shah and filling him great joy in a place where there are no more tears.
The fact that God will prevail and good will overcome evil, doesn’t mean the evil isn’t evil.
I used to think if I focused on and believed enough in the good of heaven that I wouldn’t mourn, that I could just rejoice that he is in a perfect place and that I’d be with him soon. Certainly, at times that thought gives me peace and even joy.
But, a very real evil has also happened and it’s effects are very fresh. I do not mourn without hope, but still I mourn deeply for what was taken from me and from Zoya and from so many others.
Shahriar, I love you and miss you so much.
God Provides for Us 
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