Braindead

So when I was speaking at this event on Friday to a bunch or professors and Fulbright Scholars, I had two thoughts, in addition to the topic and wondering if those really are the fastest elevators I’m the world or if they just feel like rockets because they are glass.

First I found myself thinking that I would someday like to get my brain cells back and spend my time reading and researching, talking and discussing. All these intellectuals in the audience and I know my brain doesn’t function like it once does. Years of stress and dealing with other people’s trauma and crisis, can really hinder ones ability to focus and think complete thoughts. You are always rushing from one crisis to the next and your brain has to conserve resources. I’m sure motherhood and sleepless nights isn’t helping anything, and I’m sure modern technology and information overload don’t help either. It just feels like if I could take the baby and get away from everything for about six months, the brain cells would return and I could have intellegent thoughts again.
My second thought was different and it occurred once these intellectual professors started asking questions. Some asked truly intellegent questions but others asked questions that made me remember why I didn’t stay in academics and returned to prosecuting in the real world. I can be the first to defend the value of the intellectual philosopher, but personally, I am much better suited to getting my hands dirty and clearing the weeds from one garden so that food can grow than I am to estimating the number and types of weeds in the world.
So maybe, even if I do get a break and my brain starts to function again, I may never find my place in an ivory tower of a university and that will be OK with me.