Sense of accomplishment and the doctor

http://bible.com/100/1jn.1.9.nasb If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

This is true even for the sin of looking for praise from others. Even from the sin of getting that praise fix vicariously through my daughter’s accomplishments. Children do reveal the sin in your heart. My cousin always says they show you how selfish you are.  For me it’s very specifically, showing me how  much I live off the praise from man thay comes from accomplishments. I felt at a loss yesterday after she achieved all I’d been aiming for at her two month appointment but we don’t go back for two months so I don’t have a goal. Actually she weighed 11 14 and I really wanted her to be 12. No reason for that. But I missed the goal. Ridiculous. Also they said her hip was popping and sent us for an ultrasound. It was like they said my perfect baby had a flaw. I was so sad. I’m totally still working through these seemingly ridiculous emotions. I had my “did finish my college class” stress dream last night. I need to put this aside. I confess that my heart is sinful and will strive to turn around and repent and ask God to give me a clean and pure heart. I ask for a heart full of true love for my baby.  One that works for her best and not my own sense of accomplishment.

About Camila

Based in Atlanta, but from the mountains of North Carolina. New widow of a man from Iran. Mother of one precious girl. Anti-human trafficking expert. Sister to 16 siblings (Yes, some of are adopted). Daughter of God.

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