Things I don’t want to forget

I don’t want to forget a single moment of this, or a word your daddy says.
Tonight, he told me he didn’t want it to go back to just the two of us—because life is even better with three.
Not only do we love you, we love each other more because you are with us.

When he was walking you around tonight and finally got you to stop screaming, it was beautiful. He’s learning you.
He misses us so much when he’s at work.

He was in awe from day one at how completely you changed our world. All he wanted was for you to be okay—to be happy and healthy.

And today, while we waited for you to pee again, nothing else in the world felt more important. The joy on his face when you finally did was priceless.

He told me that very first day that there was no way you were going to daycare. He’s always been open to staying home with you, but I don’t think he realized how deeply he would feel the need to keep you safe.

There’s nothing I want more in the world than to stay home with you. It’s been my life’s dream. But for now, it seems God has other plans. Daddy will stay with you while I work—and because your daddy is so wonderful, I’m at peace with that.
Someday, I hope I can be home with you too. But for now, God has given me the best man in the world to care for you when I can’t. You are such a blessed child.

We haven’t slept much in the last three days, and even when we could, it’s been hard to stop staring at you.
You’ve been awake from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. both nights since we came home. Daddy’s been working, so he’s gotten a bit of sleep during that time. I used to struggle when I didn’t get enough rest, but staying up with you has become one of the best parts of my day.

During the rest of the time, your Nana helps so much—I truly couldn’t do this without her.
But 3 a.m. is our time. That’s when I get to just hold you and sing to you. I’m not trying to squeeze in a nap or deal with a task or health worry. It’s just us, in that quiet hour between feedings.

I love you, Zoya May.
Now please, pee for Mama.