Today was a hard day, in a hard month, in a hard year, in a hard season of life. People who think you will get over the loss of your husband in a few months or a year are, well, clueless. Sometimes it isn’t bad to be clueless, if you recognize you don’t have a clue and stop to listen and learn.
Other people are brilliant. Other people do understand. I’m blessed to be surrounded by so many people who are walking me through this season. Today the advice that worked for me was the same advice I was given the day Shah died. Just take it one step at a time.
There are so many unknowns in the future, some very practical, some very emotional. It is unknown what I will be doing in the coming year. It is unknown how I will heal and recover.
So one step at a time, is really good advice when you can’t see how you will get to the end of the road. Even if you know you will make it. Even if you know God will heal you and provide. When you can’t envision how you will get from here to there, one step at a time is the best.
Today it was one step, work out, don’t just sit in the car and cry. One step, cook Zoya dinner and spend some time with her before bed. One step, put Zoya to bed. One step, update human trafficking presentation and stay distracted by Parks and Rec. (Parks and Rec is an important step. I’m about to start a pretty strict ban on distractions, so I need Leslie and Ben to get back together so I can set it aside for awhile.)
So the day is done. I’ve survived one more day, one more step.
Next step, sleep. Next step, dress for presentation. Next step . . . .