Sometimes you just know you are in a long complicated lesson and you just have to sit back and absorb. It’s like those times when every book, every podcast, every verse, and every sermon say the same thing, and you know God is trying to tell you something.
Except this time, I’m in the middle of more than just words.
It’s a week til I leave for Amsterdam, always a healing, clarifying, thin place for me.
A few days ago, in conversation with a widow a little further in this journey, it finally clicked what the experts have been trying to tell me, my brain is still very foggy and slow functioning. It’s truth for now, but encouraging, because while responsibilities have doubled, life won’t always be this hard, because that will heal.
Due to internet failure, I “accidentally” read this verse after a morning of tears spent watching some precious video clips of my wedding for the first time and remembering how happy, loving, and wonderful my husband who was killed on June 1, 2016 was.
TWO unrelated people but precious sent me photos of Shah that I had never seen before yesterday, with a similar and extremely thoughtful, ‘praying this is the right time to send these’ message.
There have been other little things. Some deja vu moments when you just know you are in the right place at the right time. Not enough for me to have a clear picture of where He is leading, but just enough to get my attention that I am in the middle of a journey and not in a stagnant wasteland.
I think the hardest times are when we have no hope that anything is moving forward. It’s all more bearable when you know something will change.