Grief

Individualism Robs

This SHOULD have been an idyllic afternoon. It all went according to plan. Eight plus hours of sleep, followed by intense and productive work, followed by outdoor time on a beautiful day, followed by dinner at a place Shah and I were at four years ago to the day thanks to Snowmagedon. It was the longest time Shah and I ever got to spend together at home.

BUT

THIS CHILD WALKS SO SLOWLY.

OR

I AM SO IMPATIENT.

I annoyed myself by how many times I told her to hurry up. I should have been able to be in the woods exploring with her, but instead I struggled not to threaten her with a spanking if she didn’t run. Who does that?!

I didn’t have anywhere I wanted to be. I would have been happy to have been out there longer. But I wanted to be moving and she wanted to be. It’s three steps and a stick, five steps and a puddle, two steps and a rock about 12 steps backwards.

I couldn’t help but wonder, because I had a ridiculous amount of time to try to think of something to think about, if God gets frustrated because he has to correct and discipline us. Does he have to constantly slow is down? Or like Zoya’s friend, does he have to constantly slow us down?

It’s a good thing God is so patient with us, because it took me stepping away from my impatience and about three hours of alone time for me to realize what I needed to see.

God made us all unique, but we are better together. Zoya and Shah move at one speed. I move at another speed. But my life is enriched by the struggle to live and move at their speed.

Doing things my way is easiest. That is the lie individualism teaches. The lives we live together learning from and adapting to the unique giftings of each one are more rewarding than an easy life could ever be.

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About Camila

From the mountains of North Carolina. New widow of a man from Iran. Mother of one precious girl. Anti-human trafficking expert. Pro-life leader. Sister to 16 siblings. Daughter of God.

2 comments on “Individualism Robs

  1. This is so true, Camila. Children teach us so many spiritual lessons. Jesus said we should, no we MUST, become like children to enter his kingdom. That means dying to our individualism, doesn’t it?

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  2. God has so much grace and patience for us. I think more often than not he slows us down when we are running ahead. It is so easy in our busy world to get caught up in momentum when we simply need to rest. This is something I have been learning over the past two months. God gives our weary souls rest, even if we are fighting it. Even if we think we need to be further ahead, God knows where we needs to be. His timing is everything.

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