Grief

Finding Beauty in the Moment

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My husband loved the Hallmark store.  He was a proud, card carrying member, and always bought me presents from Hallmark.  Yesterday, I did something right.  I took the coupon he would have been excited to get and bought myself the presents I think he would have gotten me.  I don’t know exactly what he would have gotten, but I do know it would have been from this store.  And I think this is what it would have been.

I miss him so much.  I wanted to be married to him for 50 years, though ironically, he had told me he didn’t want to live that long.  He didn’t want to live until he was 82.  But we still had a lot of years before he was 82.

I think I need to process and learn to accept my new life.  I need to grasp that my husband is gone.  I am a widow and a single parent of a toddler.  This is not the life I wanted.

But I can still have good moments.

Most of the time, I still want to live in the moment, and at times drift back to the past.

In the moment, I can find beauty and joy.  In the moment, I can be happy I was married to the warmest man. In the moment, I can watch the candle and be glad I know he would have loved this picture.

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About Camila

Based in Atlanta, but from the mountains of North Carolina. New widow of a man from Iran. Mother of one precious girl. Anti-human trafficking expert. Sister to 16 siblings (Yes, some of are adopted). Daughter of God.

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