Expectations are the enemy of gratefulness and contentment.
I was raised in a family with a working father and stay at home mother. They had very distinct roles and responsibilities.
So I have no real expectations for how a working mom and stay at home dad work.
So many couple battle expectations, expecting their family to behave as their parents did. We don’t have that. Not only does he do a lot of the cooking and cleaning and laundry; he seems to feel equally responsible for those things. There is a very fluid flow of tasks, with nothing being either of our sole responsibility.
If you have ever been my roommate you may know that I hate the idea of chore lists and just want everyone to do their part. That doesn’t work with every couple, but it’s working with us.
It’s working well.
Rather than expecting him to have the laundry done, I feel pleasantly surprised every single time he does it, even though right now he does it 90% of the time. 18 years of expectations gained from living in a home where the man doesnt know how to start the washing machine doesn’t go away overnight.
And this week, I had one of those real wow moments, when we were having friends over for dinner after work. I got home played with baby and cleaned the house, while he spent four hours preparing food in the kitchen, set out food and hosted while they were there, AND when they left he just asked me to stay out of the kitchen so he could clean up.
I just hope all working dad’s with stay at home wives, can understand and be as truly grateful as their wives would be if the roles were reversed.
This is just a collage of some of the random meals he has fixed, without fanfare, but just because.
Shah is an amazing treasure to you and to our family. 🙂
While Jonathan doesn’t cook, I’m also grateful that he is of the mindset that chores and the task of running a house are a shared responsibility. I can’t imagine it otherwise.
I’d love to have some cooking lessons at your house!
Exactly. It’s the mindset of shared responsibility that matters. I’d rather them do less but feel responsible, than do more but feel they are doing me a favor and doing ‘my’ work.
I say he doesn’t cook, but there are days when he takes responsibility for feeding us and while it may not be glamorous, it’s generally nutritious and good.