Expectations are the enemy of gratefulness and contentment.
I was raised in a family with a working father and stay at home mother. They had very distinct roles and responsibilities.
So I have no real expectations for how a working mom and stay at home dad work.
So many couple battle expectations, expecting their family to behave as their parents did. We don’t have that. Not only does he do a lot of the cooking and cleaning and laundry; he seems to feel equally responsible for those things. There is a very fluid flow of tasks, with nothing being either of our sole responsibility.
If you have ever been my roommate you may know that I hate the idea of chore lists and just want everyone to do their part. That doesn’t work with every couple, but it’s working with us.
It’s working well.
Rather than expecting him to have the laundry done, I feel pleasantly surprised every single time he does it, even though right now he does it 90% of the time. 18 years of expectations gained from living in a home where the man doesnt know how to start the washing machine doesn’t go away overnight.
And this week, I had one of those real wow moments, when we were having friends over for dinner after work. I got home played with baby and cleaned the house, while he spent four hours preparing food in the kitchen, set out food and hosted while they were there, AND when they left he just asked me to stay out of the kitchen so he could clean up.
I just hope all working dad’s with stay at home wives, can understand and be as truly grateful as their wives would be if the roles were reversed.
This is just a collage of some of the random meals he has fixed, without fanfare, but just because.