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So little time

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I have so little time anymore, but I have time for this.
I’m happy with the way I used my 12 week maternity leave. I’m happy that in addition to holding my baby, I also cleaned and decluttered. I’m happy I used that time to go for walks and runs, even if it could be a long time before I have time for any of thay again.
When I come from work I am exhausted. Several days I’ve skipped dinner, and any other productivity is completely out of the question. 
I hold Zoya. I nurse Zoya. I talk to Zoya. And I stare at Zoya.
My husband gets home around 10 and often fixes us a snack, and we talk til I can’t stay awake any longer.
And on weekends, at least on this weekend, I still need rest. I can’t get work out of my mind. A runaway victim and warring conference planners are battling it out for preeminence in my mind. And all I want to do is hold my baby, and spoil her by letting her nurse and sleep in my arms as long as she wants.
But I’m glad I did the things I did while on break. My dresser is still clean and I know what’s in my closets.
Sure the living room isn’t perfect. I wish it was but some days I just can’t clean off the end table or keep up with the constant mail. But for once in my life I appreciate the way I spent my time. And I’m going to sit here and stare at her a little longer and enjoy it.

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About Camila

Based in Atlanta, but from the mountains of North Carolina. New widow of a man from Iran. Mother of one precious girl. Anti-human trafficking expert. Sister to 16 siblings (Yes, some of are adopted). Daughter of God.

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