I have some really good days. Today is kinda average, but yesterday was really good. It was good. I talked and laughed and had fun, despite the fact that I lost my husband. I didn’t forget, but I still had fun. As a matter of fact, we laughed a bit about Shah, and walked, and talked, and ate, and had fun.
You know how occasionally you go out with friends and just have a really good night? Those are becoming less and less rare. Despite how hard the second year has been, regular great days happen more and more frequently. I still remember the first evening I enjoyed several months after Shah died. We had something good to eat and watched The Office. Despite everything, it was still a good day.
No one has good days everyday and I have a lot of painfully bad days. But good days are not near as rare as before.
For those who are at the beginning of grief or haven’t yet had their first loss and don’t know if they will recover, know that even though you can’t imagine it, someday there will be days when the good overcomes the bad, when being alive doesn’t feel painful, and you laugh and smile effortlessly. It doesn’t mean you love any less. It doesn’t mean you are forgetting at all. It just means good can overcome evil, even in your own broken heart.