While mentally, the home quarantine started today, I actually had several errands to run that were crucial to being able to primarily work from home for a few weeks. I was only out for three hours, and except for a few things on my plate, I intend to stay here for the majority of the next two weeks.
Personally, my daughter and I have very little risk from this corona virus, but it both feels like the right thing to do and it feels like a blessing I should seize with both hands. It is the right thing to do because it could slow the virus and save lives. It is a blessing, because it is a rare opportunity to slow down and just be.
If there is anything I think God is telling me about these weeks is that I need to fight my tendency to try to prove my worth by being insanely productive only in ways that help people not in my house, while ignoring this blessing and time to focus and be and live and enjoy life at a slower speed. I’ll work. I’ll be diligent, but God didn’t send this time so I can prove I can be just as useful from afar as I am while driving to the office. That is NOT the purpose of this gifted time. Actually, usefulness is not the purpose of anyone at anytime. We were created for another reason.
It has been rather strange. Besides the, don’t strive message. I have thought of very little and not set any goals. Today was rest day. Then we have a weekend to plan and set goals . . . Except no. I cannot transfer one striving for another. Somehow it, this nothing, is working. Only a half day home, maybe stopped work an hour early, and effortlessly, STRANGELY, the house is so much cleaner than it has been since January started. Since word came that government was closing and we would be home from the Capitol, I’ve managed to cook two real meals. Back to back non-processed meals hasn’t happened this year. Effortlessly.
The other strange part is, I’m finally bored of the news scroll, social media scroll is boring and I don’t care to watch television. I thought Netflix was how we were supposed to “survive” this blessing, but I’m not feeling the need to numb. I have no idea how long that will last, but maybe, just maybe, I can keep writing and reading, gardening and resting, and these special days will not slip away in distraction, exhaustion, or fear.
** I hope we can rejoice in the little blessings of even these hard time, and that we can help those for whom this is a real crisis, while treasuring the special gift that is today. I know for some this is a much bigger challenge, because the risk for health or economically, is daunting. Though remember, the weaker the man, the stronger God can be revealed. I don’t say that flippantly. God brought me through the car-jacking murder of my husband. God can provide.